Black Friday

Hi this is me.
and yesterday was the worst day ever.
i am the worst mom ever!

see this boy?

It's a miracle he doesn't have a concussion or something.

Yesterday, I headed out around 7 AM to hit some stores and got all the items I wanted.
Then I ran back home and picked up the family to go to some more stores.  we are looking for snow gear for the family.  So we went to Shopko.  They had some great sales on snow gear.
We were in there forever....
and waiting in line was forever. 
Emma got bored and stole some jelly beans...the good kind. 
kate was sitting in the front of the cart.
Luke was in the back of the cart just playing or standing and flirting with the lady infront of us.
I turn to the left to call for Emma to get back over to me.
I look back to Luke and catch the last part of him falling to the ground, landing on hit head/back.
I instantly felt sick.
I quickly grabbed him.
Here I am, stuck in line, with hundreds of other people in line who probably was watching the same thing.
embarrasement and fear of my child's life took over.
I started crying, like full of bawling.
I instantly looked him over.
He was crying but like a sobbing, tired cry..
The lady infront of me told me that he fell onto her leg before he hit the floor. 
Ok, good. helped break his fall.
But he became sweaty and tired.
And a red mark was forming on his forehead.
I remembered what I read and heard about concussions.
They become sleepy or something like that?!
Then i started getting really scared adn sick.
I quickly called Joe, who had jumped nextdoor to Ranch & Home to see what they had.
I told him what happened.
"Is he alright?"
I started crying again.
"I don't know, he's acting drowsy and weird"
"I'll be right over"

He comes back and grabs him and looks him over.
At this point, my eyes re-focus on where I am.
kate's in the cart...
emma is....emma?
oh good, she's sitting down at the candy.
I don't care if she's eating it. as long as she's not running around.

The lady infront of me was really nice and helped watch Emma while i was hysterical.
her husband helped us hold our sled we were buying too.

"I think he's going to be okay"
When Joe said that, I felt some relief.
but the guilt of allowing him to fall out of the cart had traumatized me.
something bad could have happened.
and my mind kept taking me to those possiblities and I would start tearing up again.

When we left the store and got to the car, i was shaking from nervousness. 
And I was exhausted.

Luke was too and fell asleep before we got home.
I put him down then I took a nap too.
I wish I could have crawled into his crib and just snuggled with him
but then he wouldn't have fallen back asleep and he needed that the most.

Thankfully, hours later, Luke was his normal self, following after Joe or I, dancing or clapping to some music or playing peekaboo with Kate.
So grateful that he is okay.

Seriously, I don't know why this affected me so much.  But it really shook me. 
I think those "possiblities" of what could have been scared me.
I didn't want and don't want anything to happen to my children!
i think I may have as milli-inch of an idea of what parents feel when something seriously bad happens to them, like serious injuries or even death.

I pray that I don't have to experience those things.
I seriously might break down!
But if that were to happen (knock on wood),
I know that Heavenly Father would help me.
I would be able to trust in Him and his Atonement to take away the fear & replace it with comfort.

since we are all safe and well,
we get to start going through our boxes, putting our stuff into 3 piles today:
1- give away / sell
2- storage
3-move-in

We wouldn't be dealing with storage usually but the rental home we are moving into...the only one in town...is half the size of where we are living right now.  So we need to DE-JUNK!
wish me luck.

5 comments:

The Blaisdell Family said...

We (I) had that happen this past spring with Camden (about 15 months at the time). He fell forehead first onto the concrete floor of Lowes. Why?? Because I didn't buckle him in, and the same thing, I turned to find another kid and heard the "head hitting floor" sound. Craig was buying the stuff so neither one of us saw him stand up. Then people just staring at us! Talk about feeling like a piece of CRAP!! I bawled too! I didn't want to let go of him, all the horrible "could have happened" thoughts going through my head. That was about the lowest I have ever felt as a mom. Just awful!!

I checked for all the "signs" too but it was tough because it was his nap time and he was sleepy to begin with. I have NO idea how he didn't split his head, break his neck, or something. Big goose egg, but I will take that over anything else that could have happened!

Oh, I got choked up reading your post, it just brought back too many emotions. Glad he's okay, and you are still a GOOD mom! Things happen. But it doesn't mean that it's easy :)

Lindsay said...

ahhh--I hate that feeling of just being so sick to your stomach as you hope and pray your child is okay. We've had our share of shopping carts tip over and yes, with kids in it. I know people are always looking at me in disgust that I can't control my kids and make them SIT in the cart, buckled up, but seriously, that is impossible when they have minds of their own.
Owen got a concussion when he was two and his head just hit the carpet. It was really scary!
Anyways, I am so glad that Luke was all right. And I love the family picture!! The fresh fallen snow makes it look so magical!

steph, brent, and joaquin said...

I'm so glad that he's okay, and that you're doing better. Whew. Good luck going through your stuff -- I wish I could dejunk my place.

katie t said...

1. not a bad mom
2. so glad that he is ok
3. can't live a life of what if's so just learn from it.
4. i love you and i wish i lived closer and i'd give you a hug! you are a great, wonderful mom and i look up to you every day. i wonder why i can't be like that all of the time. why am i so selfish. so don't ever say that again PLUS your kids (emma) is a handful so you actually have 5 kids? LOL
jk...maybe

xo

Margie said...

You are a great mom, but even the best moms have some scary experiences. You can't always keep them safe & buckled in. They learn to undo the buckles. They disappear as you turn your head just for a second. Your reaction was totally normal. A family helps us to understand that our Heavenly father is there for us every day. I love all your pictures in the snow.

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